Ben Franklin:
I’m big Ben Franklin, and this shant be pretty.
Let me instruct you how we battle in the city of Philly!
You couldn’t sell Rick James a bag of crack, you’re out of practice.
My victory’s more certain than death or taxes!
Fact is: you’re a hack, wack QVC joke.
You peddle soap that cleans bird sh*t from my windows!
I’ll craft a lyrical coffin, and then spit the nails in.
Call me Arthur Miller son, cause it’s death of a salesman!
Billy Mays:
Hi, Billy Mays here, with a special TV offer.
Watch me crush this bald, fat, foppish founding father!
I’ll take my awesome auger and sow your quaker oats.
I’ll shoot your rhymes down like a regiment of red coats!
I’m the lord of the pitch, and leader in home sales.
You’re just a lumpy pumpkin who invented the mail!
Benny’s got kite’n key but you’re in for a shock.
When I strike you with bolts from my lightning rod c*ck!
Benjamin Franklin:
Stop! I protest these intolerable raps.
It takes just one easy payment for me to whoop your *ss!
Cause I’m mint, I’m money! I’m an educated gentleman!
So join or die Bill, cause it’s all about the Benjamin!
Vince Offer:
You following me camera guy? Cause it’s about to get furious.
You’re gonna love my nuts until you’re bi-focal-curious!
Your boy George chopped down trees.
You couldn’t break a piece of balsa.
Slap chop your face, make a double chin salsa!
Your style is so broke, they call you Poor Richard.
It’s bad enough I gotta see you every-time I tip a stripper!
Vince against a founding father is just too bad.
Cause after this America is gonna lose a dad!
I’m big Ben Franklin, and this shant be pretty.
Let me instruct you how we battle in the city of Philly!
You couldn’t sell Rick James a bag of crack, you’re out of practice.
My victory’s more certain than death or taxes!
Fact is: you’re a hack, wack QVC joke.
You peddle soap that cleans bird sh*t from my windows!
I’ll craft a lyrical coffin, and then spit the nails in.
Call me Arthur Miller son, cause it’s death of a salesman!
Billy Mays:
Hi, Billy Mays here, with a special TV offer.
Watch me crush this bald, fat, foppish founding father!
I’ll take my awesome auger and sow your quaker oats.
I’ll shoot your rhymes down like a regiment of red coats!
I’m the lord of the pitch, and leader in home sales.
You’re just a lumpy pumpkin who invented the mail!
Benny’s got kite’n key but you’re in for a shock.
When I strike you with bolts from my lightning rod c*ck!
Benjamin Franklin:
Stop! I protest these intolerable raps.
It takes just one easy payment for me to whoop your *ss!
Cause I’m mint, I’m money! I’m an educated gentleman!
So join or die Bill, cause it’s all about the Benjamin!
Vince Offer:
You following me camera guy? Cause it’s about to get furious.
You’re gonna love my nuts until you’re bi-focal-curious!
Your boy George chopped down trees.
You couldn’t break a piece of balsa.
Slap chop your face, make a double chin salsa!
Your style is so broke, they call you Poor Richard.
It’s bad enough I gotta see you every-time I tip a stripper!
Vince against a founding father is just too bad.
Cause after this America is gonna lose a dad!