Batman:
Nice hat, dork. You look like a duck.
I had Alfred read your books. He told me they suck!
I'll crush your British nuts until they're bangers and mash.
I've seen better detective work in Tango & Cash!
You chump, I kick punks like you off the streets.
While you and Velma here are solving Scooby-Doo mysteries!
Nothing makes me laugh, but I bet your raps can.
So bring it on, b*tch... I'm Batman!
Sherlock Holmes:
I once met a rich fellow who smelled of guano and pain.
Dr. Watson:
Holmes, explain!
Sherlock Holmes:
I deduce this deuce stain is Bruce Wayne!
Dr. Watson:
The billionaire?
Sherlock Holmes:
Yes, his wealth would allow this adversary of ours.
To afford the toys he needs!
Dr. Watson:
Since he has no superpowers!
Sherlock Holmes:
You want a battle, bat? Bring it then!
Dr. Watson:
I heard he has a British butler!
Sherlock Holmes:
Good! Then he'll be used to getting served by Englishmen!
You're a wack vigilante black pantied spud with no skill.
My sidekick's a doctor!
Dr. Watson:
Because his flows are so ill!
Batman:
Shut up, nerds. I serve justice, so eat it!
My sidekick only comes around...
Robin:
...When he's needed!
Boy wonder make ya wonder how your *ss got killed.
Bite harder than those hounds down in Baskerville!
I'll blast you with that bat-wack-rap repellant.
Rappel a building, snatch a villain, then by dinner be chillin'!
Got a secret 'bout your homegirl Irene Adler,
took her back to my nest to bam pow kersplat her!
I'll shatter that fiddle with a chop of the hand!
Holy Conan Doyle, let's get 'em! Aw god d*mn!
Batman:
You're not smart, you're selfish. You endanger everyone's life.
Why don't you let your boyfriend here go home to his wife?
Nobody likes you. Not your brother, not your partner, not Scotland Yard!
You'll die alone with no friends except that needle in your arm!
Sherlock Holmes (thinking):
This mustn't register on an emotional level...
First, exploit childhood tragedy...then gesture with pipe...
Watson finishes punchline...next, acknowledge compliment...
Conclude with killer catchphrase...
Sherlock Holmes:
I believe your parents' homicide is why you mask your face.
You're shamed and traumatized and haunted by the vast disgrace!
Of watching like a passive waste as momma died and daddy was dispatched with haste!
Dr. Watson:
Holmes, you've cracked the case!
Sherlock Holmes:
You're a batsh*t crazy basket case!
Dr. Watson:
Bloody good rhymes!
Sherlock Holmes:
I've got tonnes.
Dissing these dynamic douchebags was, elementary my dear Watson.
Nice hat, dork. You look like a duck.
I had Alfred read your books. He told me they suck!
I'll crush your British nuts until they're bangers and mash.
I've seen better detective work in Tango & Cash!
You chump, I kick punks like you off the streets.
While you and Velma here are solving Scooby-Doo mysteries!
Nothing makes me laugh, but I bet your raps can.
So bring it on, b*tch... I'm Batman!
Sherlock Holmes:
I once met a rich fellow who smelled of guano and pain.
Dr. Watson:
Holmes, explain!
Sherlock Holmes:
I deduce this deuce stain is Bruce Wayne!
Dr. Watson:
The billionaire?
Sherlock Holmes:
Yes, his wealth would allow this adversary of ours.
To afford the toys he needs!
Dr. Watson:
Since he has no superpowers!
Sherlock Holmes:
You want a battle, bat? Bring it then!
Dr. Watson:
I heard he has a British butler!
Sherlock Holmes:
Good! Then he'll be used to getting served by Englishmen!
You're a wack vigilante black pantied spud with no skill.
My sidekick's a doctor!
Dr. Watson:
Because his flows are so ill!
Batman:
Shut up, nerds. I serve justice, so eat it!
My sidekick only comes around...
Robin:
...When he's needed!
Boy wonder make ya wonder how your *ss got killed.
Bite harder than those hounds down in Baskerville!
I'll blast you with that bat-wack-rap repellant.
Rappel a building, snatch a villain, then by dinner be chillin'!
Got a secret 'bout your homegirl Irene Adler,
took her back to my nest to bam pow kersplat her!
I'll shatter that fiddle with a chop of the hand!
Holy Conan Doyle, let's get 'em! Aw god d*mn!
Batman:
You're not smart, you're selfish. You endanger everyone's life.
Why don't you let your boyfriend here go home to his wife?
Nobody likes you. Not your brother, not your partner, not Scotland Yard!
You'll die alone with no friends except that needle in your arm!
Sherlock Holmes (thinking):
This mustn't register on an emotional level...
First, exploit childhood tragedy...then gesture with pipe...
Watson finishes punchline...next, acknowledge compliment...
Conclude with killer catchphrase...
Sherlock Holmes:
I believe your parents' homicide is why you mask your face.
You're shamed and traumatized and haunted by the vast disgrace!
Of watching like a passive waste as momma died and daddy was dispatched with haste!
Dr. Watson:
Holmes, you've cracked the case!
Sherlock Holmes:
You're a batsh*t crazy basket case!
Dr. Watson:
Bloody good rhymes!
Sherlock Holmes:
I've got tonnes.
Dissing these dynamic douchebags was, elementary my dear Watson.