Santa Claus:
Sweet robes, Obi Wan-too many days in the sun?
Stop preaching, homie. Teach your flock to covet some fun!
I bring joy every year. Man, I represent cheer.
You represent sandals and a scraggly beard!
I'm from the North Pole. That's why my rhymes are so cold!
I spit diamonds, but I'm serving up some fresh coal!
You've been a naughty boy. You brought a plague of frogs.
You'd best arrest yourself, you broke your own law!
Or was there something in Rule Six I didn't understand?
My list says, "Killed Egyptian dude, buried him in sand!"
I read your book. You got a strict religion.
No bacon? But mandatory circumcision?
I'm a jolly bowl a jelly, giving holiday presents.
But all the chosen people ever get for Christmas is jealous!
Moses:
When I was high up on the mountain, God revealed the truths of the Earth.
But he never mentioned a fat-*ss Papa Smurf!
It takes nine reindeers to haul your fat *ss.
You took the Christ out of Christmas and just added more mass!
You need to stop breakin' into houses and creepin' and peepin'.
On naughty kids while they sleepin' and keep your hands off my stocking!
Don't you ho ho me!
I'll split your *ss in half like I did the Red Sea!
You ain't a saint, you a slaver, like a pharaoh in the snow.
Stop with the unpaid labor and let my little people go!
Elves:
We ain't slaves!
All that sand turned your brain to mush!
Santa Claus:
I think you need to stop smokin' all that burnin' bush!
Elves:
Yeah, we're magical workers, man! We hang with reindeers!
Yo, here's a GPS! Who gets lost for forty years?
Santa Claus:
You're a glorified secretary, so write this down
Elves:
Begat deez nutz!
Claus:
Santa Claus is comin' to town!
Moses:
So much drama in the Israe-L B.C.
It's kinda hard talking directly to the G O single D!
Hand me my chisel, I got a new commandizzle for y'all.
Thou shalt not let your children sit on a grown man's lap at the mall!
I'll beat you ten times before the bread can rise, you dummy.
And walk of into the land of my milk and honies!
Sweet robes, Obi Wan-too many days in the sun?
Stop preaching, homie. Teach your flock to covet some fun!
I bring joy every year. Man, I represent cheer.
You represent sandals and a scraggly beard!
I'm from the North Pole. That's why my rhymes are so cold!
I spit diamonds, but I'm serving up some fresh coal!
You've been a naughty boy. You brought a plague of frogs.
You'd best arrest yourself, you broke your own law!
Or was there something in Rule Six I didn't understand?
My list says, "Killed Egyptian dude, buried him in sand!"
I read your book. You got a strict religion.
No bacon? But mandatory circumcision?
I'm a jolly bowl a jelly, giving holiday presents.
But all the chosen people ever get for Christmas is jealous!
Moses:
When I was high up on the mountain, God revealed the truths of the Earth.
But he never mentioned a fat-*ss Papa Smurf!
It takes nine reindeers to haul your fat *ss.
You took the Christ out of Christmas and just added more mass!
You need to stop breakin' into houses and creepin' and peepin'.
On naughty kids while they sleepin' and keep your hands off my stocking!
Don't you ho ho me!
I'll split your *ss in half like I did the Red Sea!
You ain't a saint, you a slaver, like a pharaoh in the snow.
Stop with the unpaid labor and let my little people go!
Elves:
We ain't slaves!
All that sand turned your brain to mush!
Santa Claus:
I think you need to stop smokin' all that burnin' bush!
Elves:
Yeah, we're magical workers, man! We hang with reindeers!
Yo, here's a GPS! Who gets lost for forty years?
Santa Claus:
You're a glorified secretary, so write this down
Elves:
Begat deez nutz!
Claus:
Santa Claus is comin' to town!
Moses:
So much drama in the Israe-L B.C.
It's kinda hard talking directly to the G O single D!
Hand me my chisel, I got a new commandizzle for y'all.
Thou shalt not let your children sit on a grown man's lap at the mall!
I'll beat you ten times before the bread can rise, you dummy.
And walk of into the land of my milk and honies!